


If I Could Tell Her

by Purplefern



Category: Captain Underpants Series - Dav Pilkey, Captain Underpants: The First Epic Movie (2017)
Genre: Dear Evan Hansen References, Edith knows about Cap, Egg Casserole, F/M, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Krupp and Cap talk through notes, Krupp is insecure, Krupp knows about Cap, Mild Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-11
Updated: 2020-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:54:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,342
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23109571
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Purplefern/pseuds/Purplefern
Summary: Edith asks Ben what Cap thinks about her, since she never seems to get a chance to ask him. Ben is forced to improvise, something he was never very good at. (But this does offer something of an opportunity to tell Edith how he feels, which is something he is also not very good at.)
Relationships: Mr. Krupp/Edith the Lunch Lady (Captain Underpants)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 18





	If I Could Tell Her

**Author's Note:**

> Please please please listen to this song before you read. It's a mood for the whole thing (also the story is partially based on it) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B7h7c_L_Yp4

Another day, another monster attack, and another afternoon that Edith spent patching Ben up after the dust settled. 

“Can’t he ever be more careful in a fight?” grumbled the principal, wincing as Edith gently put some antiseptic on one of his many cuts. 

“It’s just the way he is” returned Edith with a smile that morphed slowly into a frown, “Sometimes I wish you guys wouldn’t get rid of him so quickly. I never get to talk to him”. Krupp looked slightly jealous at that, and she quickly laughed and patted his hand reassuringly.   
“That doesn’t mean I want to see less of you, Benny”. He seemed to relax at that -- well as much as he ever did. 

“But I do wonder what he thinks about me” she said thoughtfully, sticking another bandaid over the injured man’s forehead. Suddenly she stopped, and, getting a glimmer in her eyes, turned to look directly into Mr Krupp’s eyes, “Wait a minute, you guys have been writing notes back and forth, right?”

After a moment, Ben hesitantly nodded, wondering slightly where she was going with this. “Do you two ever talk about me?” she asked flirtuously, before leaning onto the desk, asking eagerly, “What does he say about me? I just gotta know”. 

“Buh-huh’ stammered the principal, uncertain how to reply to that. Yes, he and Captain Underpants had started talking through notes (after many many weeks of adjusting to the fact that a superhero lived in his head but that was a whole different story), but Edith was a subject that never came up. Intentionally so, at least on Krupp’s part. Sharing a life and a body was already complicated enough, he didn’t even want to start wondering about how relationships would work. So he stuck his head in the sand for now and hoped to avoid thinking about it by never talking about it. And of course, Cap was _Cap_ , serious theoretical romantic discussions were one of the last things on _his_ mind, Krupp was certain of that. 

But Edith was standing here and staring at him, wondering what the Captain thought. And Ben was going to tell her that they didn’t ever talk about her, but then he started getting a thought. He _always_ had a hard time telling Edith how he felt (honestly he couldn’t understand how she had decided to ask him on that first date), but Cap always made talking about feelings seem so easy. (Somehow, freaking Captain Underpants apparently did better in a romantic setting as far as he was told. Who knew.) Maybe he could just...borrow that, for a little bit. It wasn’t entirely honest, but it wasn’t dishonest. Hey they were technically the same person after all, so whatever he said would also be how Cap saw things, right? (That wasn’t how it worked at all, but it made him feel better.) So, what would Cap say about Edith? 

“Well, he--uh--he thinks that you...have an amazing smile” he improvised, trying to think about what Cap would do. He would probably say something honest, and open, and all of that mushy stuff that Krupp never was. 

“He does?” asked Edith in delight, hair combed back so Ben could see how both of her very blue eyes seemed to sparkle at the compliment. 

He almost lost his nerve to continue just looking into those eyes, his composure and confidence just melting away. Normally, compliments wouldn’t get any further than this, just having her look at him as if he were a nice person (and he knew he was not a nice person) would destroy his resolve. But this time, she wasn’t smiling at _him_ she was smiling at the Captain, and that let him continue. 

“Y-yeah” he continued with a growing smile, “ _He_ says that, uh, it’s perfect, and,” _it’s radiant,_ he wanted to say, but, no, Cap wouldn’t use a word like that, so he said instead, “it just seems to glow. Makes him happy -- well happi _er_ in his case, I guess -- whenever he gets to see it”. 

“Aw, well isn’t that sweet!” exclaimed Edith happily, “What else does he say about me?” 

“What else?” echoed Krupp, swallowing anxiously, “What else, well…” He thought about all the things he liked about Edith, all the things he could never seem to bring himself to say to her. Her cooking, the way he knew she secretly loved cheesy magazines, how she was kind and positive to pretty much everyone (even people who didn’t deserve it). 

“He--he said that he loves” he almost choked on the word, hastily adding, “how positive you are. How you can dance like the rest of the world isn’t even there”. Nervously rubbing at the back of his head, Ben got up from his desk, and started pacing, saying, “He--uh--he hates that he never gets a chance to tell you any of this”. 

This was sad, Krupp mentally berated himself. This was so pathetic that he was so horrible with people, so ridiculously terrible at a conversation that wasn’t yelling at people that he had to pretend his feelings weren’t even his just to tell his (girlfriend?) how he felt about her. For Christ’s sake, it wasn’t like he even thought badly about her. Captain Underpants, for being a ridiculous alter-ego who only barely saw her, probably could connect with her more. The gap between himself and Edith sometimes felt like it might as well have been just as wide, if not wider. In his pacing he made his way to the window, and leant against the wall, staring at the oft-replaced curtains and biting his lip. 

“He wishes he wasn’t always too distant to say anything to you” his mouth, for some reason, decided to say. And Edith was giving him a strange look, now, but he was too absorbed in staring at the wall and thinking to notice it. Apparently his mouth wasn’t done being stupid, because then it decided to add, “So he could say that he loves you”. Processing what he just said, his eyes widened, and he turned, blushing furiously, back towards Edith. He tried, and failed, to cover up what he had just said, leaving him a stammering mess as he back-pedaled. 

With an understanding smile, Edith gave him an amused look, saying shyly, “This isn’t what _Cap_ thinks at all is it?” 

“No” he admitted shamefully, ears burning from his little game of pretend. Well, it wasn’t that he was lying about the words, he _did_ think all of that about her. He just felt rotten (because he was rotten. He was rotten and horrible and bad tempered and everyone knew that), for telling her under false pretenses. 

“Benny” she said, and he had to double take at her tone. He had expected her to be mad, or at least upset, but she sounded happy, “Do you really think all that nice stuff about me?” 

“Well--I--uh, I--um” ( _just say what you really feel_ said a voice in his head that sounded obnoxiously like said Captain), “Yes”, he said bluntly, cutting off his stammering mid-babble. It was a simple admission, but a powerful one. Because he _did_ , he realized. He did love her, like he hadn’t loved anyone before. 

Edith giggled nervously, her own blushing face hidden slightly by her hair which had fallen back in front of her face. Giggle turning more into an actual laugh, she added, “I thought some of that sounded too observant to be Captain Underpants”. 

Swallowing, Krupp decided he had to keep going with this sudden confidence he had. He took the leap, “I love your laugh” he hazarded to say. No projecting, no stumbling, no yelling, just telling her how he felt. And when she smiled at him he for once felt like he deserved it. 

“Aww, shucks” she replied, and now they were both blushing horribly. With that same radiant smile ( _radiant_ , that was the word for it, though _glowing_ didn’t not fit), she said, with certainty, “Love you too”. 

**Author's Note:**

> Ack, my first time writing something that isn't Melvin related. So of course it's Krupp related. This song just, like, works for them, in my opinion, and I knew I just had to write something. (Although, I'm honestly kind of intimidated by all of the amazing Egg Casserole content out there, and I hope my contribution can measure up.)  
> I hope you liked it, leave kudos, comments, etc, thanks for reading.


End file.
